Week 2 – Memory

I was talking to Dr. Masters about how people don’t take into consideration how their behavior affects their kids.  I was reminded of the friends and acquaintances I have known who asked me why their kids were acting out during their divorce process.  I have asked several of them if they talked with their kids and explained what was going on.  They thought I was crazy.  They thought their kids were too young to understand.  I disagree.  Kids know exactly that something is happening that is turning their life upside down.  They usually blame themselves.  If parents don’t talk with them and tell them it is not their fault, the kids end up thinking they did something wrong.

When my daughter’s father and I divorced, the kids at school found out her parents were divorcing and they asked her why she wasn’t acting out.  Well, she did act out, but not in school.  I left her throwing a temper tantrum in the driveway once and went into the house.  I kept looking out the window to see that she was ok.  Once I didn’t see her at all and panicked.  Then I spied her in the tree, which was a special place for her.  I was so relieved to see that she was safe and close by.  She had to grow up quite a bit during that time, but she also realized that life was better with her parents apart than with them together.  I’m just proud of the way she leaned to adjust and to set the boundaries she needed to set with her father.  I hadn’t thought about that for awhile.